HBO quietly removed the entirety of its late-night, adult-themed programming from its website and apps. What say you?
Read More »Cassidy Gets Software Update Bolstering Trump Loyalty Imperative
Sen. Bill Cassidy received a software upgrade designed to ensure his ongoing, unconditional support of President Donald Trump, according to Cassidy's office.
Read More »NASA Designing Probe to Reach World Occupied by Fox News Viewers
The nation's space agency says it is working on an ambitious project in the hopes of making contact with a strange, alien world inhabited by millions of Fox News devotees.
Read More »Elon Musk, Building His Own “The Onion,” Partners With Louisiana to Reach Nation’s Lowest Common Denominator
Visionary Elon Musk knows that if you want to reach the top, you have to work your way up from the bottom. That’s why the serial entrepreneur reportedly has his sights set on the shitshow known as Louisiana, investing heavily in the state’s laughingstock.
Read More »Pat Shingleton Announces Retirement, Launches Weather App for Seniors
Tenured weatherman and local cool guy Pat Shingleton has announced that he will retire from his post as WBRZ's chief forecaster at the end of the month.
Read More »All Americans Over 40 Download Ransomware Disguised as Video of Teens Eating Tide Pods
Every computer in the U.S. operated by someone over the age of 40 has been compromised with malicious software disguised as a video promising to show teenagers eating Tide Pods, according to the FBI.
Read More »Secretary of State Tom Schedler Resigns to Spend More Time on Tinder
Louisiana Secretary of State Tom Schedler has announced that he is resigning from office to focus on finding the right person with whom to engage in an extramarital affair.
Read More »Trump Instructs NASA to Tell Aliens He’s Awesome
NASA's newest mission: Ensure any and all potential intelligent alien life learns that Trump did the "impossible" by defeating Hillary Clinton and has become the "greatest president in the history of the entire universe."
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