Tag Archives: Opinion

Guest Column: “The Truth Behind the So-Called ‘War on Women'” – Kim Trails, Conspiracy Theorist

I love how people are talking about this whole war on women, like it really exists. Well, don’t believe what the Zionist-controlled media tells you! Despite what you may have heard, Republicans are not really making a concerted effort to take away women’s rights, even though it may look like it on the surface. But there’s a deeper, more disturbing, underlying truth that the establishment doesn’t want you to discover! First, let’s take a look at all the purported “evidence” that the GOP is trying to set women back 50 years. For starters, there are all those transvaginal ultrasound bills in various states that would make a woman get a 10-inch probe stuck in her hoo-ha before getting an abortion. Of course, they were all introduced by Republicans, or so we’re told. Then in Tennessee, Republican Representative Matthew Hill allegedly sponsored House Bill 3808, known as the Life Defense Act. …

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Guest Column: “Jindal Should Have the Decency to at Least Give the Teachers’ Unions a Reach Around” – Linus, the Politically Astute Homosexual

O-M-G! After what I’ve seen in the last few weeks at the State Capitol, I never want to date Governor Bobby Jindal. He has got to be the most inconsiderate lover on the planet. And I’ve been in prison, so that’s really saying a lot, girlfriend! Seriously, those poor public school teachers have been treated like a piece of fresh meat that dropped the soap in the shower. It’s bad enough that they have to deal every day with little heathens in their classrooms that deserve to be in prison. (I’m looking at you, you goddamn breeders!) Now the governor is treating them like his bitch? He may have only three biological children, but he’s become the “daddy” to countless educators. (Oh, snap!) Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve been bent over and nailed so hard I couldn’t see straight so many times, I’ve lost count. And with very few …

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Guest Column: “What’s the Big Deal About Teabagging?” – Chad Cole, Frat Boy

Bruh, I’m sure you’ve heard about the passed-out LSU fan getting teabagged by a Bammer in a Krystal Burger in New Orleans after the BCS Championship game. Now the dude who did the ‘bagging has been fired, his wife left his ass, and he’s been charged with sexual assault? Dude, what’s the big deal? I mean, who hasn’t teabagged a passed-out bro? That’s not sexual assault. There’s nothing sexual at all about it. It’s a way to bond with another dude who happens to be unconscious and defenseless. We do it all the time at Nu Theta Sigma. Pledges get totally wasted at parties, they pass out, then we put our balls in their mouths while someone records it so the pledges can see it the next day. It’s all about bonding as bros. There’s nothing sexual about that! If it were sexual, it’d be gay since it’s all dudes, …

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Guest Column: “Give Spinosa Financing for Rouzan? I Don’t Think So!” – The Credit Clown

Wait up. Hold the phone. You mean to tell me Tommy Spinosa lost a $170 million Perkins Rowe foreclosure case, but he still has financing for Rouzan, and that’s gonna be in the neighborhood of around $300 million? That makes me want to slap somebody upside the head with a worn-out sock! Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for giving people second and third chances when it comes to bad credit. Hell, that’s my whole raison d’être, for f””k’s sake! I’ve approved financing for used cars for all sorts of people with jacked-up credit. It didn’t matter what was on their record “” divorce, bankruptcy, failed business. And that’s just Spinosa’s unpaid Perkins Rowe subcontractors! Hah, I’m just playin’. But seriously, yo, that sh””t is messed up. Honestly, if that dude Spinosa walked onto my lot and tried to get financing for the hooptiest piece of crap I got on …

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