Tag Archives: Music

Don’t Call It a Sell-Out

I think we can all agree that we like money. We need it to eat, pay rent, and keep ourselves clothed in Tap Out T-shirts. It does, however, get a bad rap throughout history as the root of all evil. I think we can stretch that premise a bit further and say it is perhaps also the root of all crap music. We start to grow up “” bony-kneed, brace-faced, and pimply “” in a mashed-up cornucopia of crappy music, for the most part. And that’s OK, because these musicians and bands that are mostly lame are pretty mainstream (say, Hanson of the ’90s or Justin Bieber for today) and serve a greater good: They help us cut our little musical baby teeth “” they transition us to be ready for bigger and better musical steaks when we get older. Yet sometimes, a band or artist will start feeding us …

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Everything Newsy Lately in Music Is From the ’90s

Aha! Caught ya! You thought you could just overlook the whole fact that you once wore Z. Cavariccis (to homecoming!) and Zumba pants[1] and had a Rob Van Winkle hair phase! That you had, like, eleventy hundred slap bracelets and a spiral perm, and you religiously watched Saved by the Bell! And that you totally cried when that stupid fartface Ray pushed Donna down a staircase on 90210![2] Well, you can’t overlook it now, because history is repeating itself. Repeating itself. Repeating itself. So it seems when so many of our favorite (and, perhaps, forgotten) musical heroes from the ’90s are making news as of late. First we have the tiny, yet fierce, Fiona Apple. She has launched her first single in seven years, called “Fiona Apple’s First Single in Seven Years” (sorry, had to fire my research assistant), off her upcoming new album, aptly named Fiona Apple Is World …

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What to Expect When You’re Jazz Festing 2012

It’s that time of year again “¦ lovebugs will be coming out of the ground for their annual love-suicide pacts, it will rain as much as the sun will shine, your mom will start washing the drapes of the mother-in-law suite you occupy on her property, bees will do it and make sweet, delicious honey, and Jazz Fest will happen on two weekends in the spring. It’s the 2012 Jazz Fest, y’all, starting April 27, and there’s a lot to cover here, so let’s get it started! If you’ve never traveled down to New Orleans for Jazz Fest, and you live close enough to New Orleans to have picked up our fair magazine, your only excuses for not going are that you hate music or you’re poor “¦ or both. This year, like most years, there is something for everyone “” even your mom. Because she still thinks Bruce Springsteen …

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Dubstep Isn’t Really Just Repackaged Techno, According to Someone Who Is Not Haddaway

I don’t know why I feel like I have to like it secretly “” that’s about me “” but I do indeed like dubstep. If you’re over, say, 25, dip Skoal on a regular basis, or have a stock portfolio AND your own health insurance, you probably have no idea what dubstep is. Or you could be like me, and just so happen to know a few aficionados. I am a big Radiohead fan (yes, The King of Limbs sucked; get off my ass about it), too, and when their front man, Thom Yorke, first got involved with it, I started paying more attention. Even if you haven’t heard of dubstep before, it’s possible you’ve actually HEARD it “” in a commercial or online, or maybe you’ve even seen the “Imperial March” dubstep. Either way, think of, if you can, what would result if techno became minimalist. That’s sort of …

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Guide to Some of the People You May Not Already Know at the 2012 Grammys

The 5,112th annual Grammys © ® (Patent Pending) are upon us, airing February 12 on the Geriatric Discovery Channel (which also features NCIS: Panama City and CSI: Sunnyvale Assisted Living “” all-new episodes on Wednesday nights “” tune in). LL Cool J will be hosting, so as to target the 55-and-under audience who wants to knock you out, as preferred by Geriatric Discovery TV executives. This is your definitive “” and also extremely fit for toilet reading “” guide to artists nominated this year who you probably haven’t heard of because you have a job and 2.3 children and a Husky named Fozzy. For instance, you probably don’t know that that fancy, chunky, British girl Adele is a nominee. Surely you haven’t heard any of her songs. Well, you’re gonna wish YOU, never had met HER, to paraphrase one of her ubiquitous hit singles. I can’t breathe for 10 minutes …

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