Francis says the death penalty is wrong, no matter how much I need to be governor? Man, fuck the pope. I want to kill muthafuckers.
Read More »GUEST COLUMN: “Make Me Governor So I Can Kill Some Muthafuckers” – Jeff Landry, Attorney General
Can y'all please go ahead and just make me governor so I can kill some muthafuckers? The governor we have now doesn't seem to want to kill anyone, and that's a tragedy.
Read More »Sen. Kennedy Calls on Gov. Edwards to Resign for Dismissing Urgent Warnings of Russian Election Meddling
Gov. John Bel Edwards should immediately resign for failing to fulfill the oath of office of president of the United States, according to Sen. John Kennedy.
Read More »Sen. Kennedy Goes Apeshit After Treasurer Returns $2.3 Million in Unclaimed Funds to LA Resident
Louisiana's junior senator totally lost his shit after learning the man who replaced him as state treasurer gave a record amount of unclaimed property to a sole resident.
Read More »Gov. Edwards Plans to Reduce Louisiana’s STD Rate by Selling Area North of U.S. 190 to Arkansas
Edwards' proposal calls for selling off to Arkansas all areas of the state north of U.S. 190, with the exception of casinos, in order to spare Louisiana from further healthcare-related costs and national shame.
Read More »Governor John Bel Edwards Signs “Medical Popeyes” Bill
The new law allows doctors to recommend therapeutic doses of fried chicken, seafood, and traditional sides from Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen to treat a select subset of diagnoses, including low appetite, low cholesterol, and low self-esteem.
Read More »Sen. John Kennedy Arrives Late for Committee Meeting After Looking for His Balls
The junior U.S. senator from Louisiana was late to work on Capitol Hill last week after admittedly getting distracted by searching for his testicles.
Read More »South Louisiana Eagerly Awaits Being Bombed by North Korea
Gov. John Bel Edwards welcomed North Korea’s attention, claiming it is the most Louisiana gets other than at Mardi Gras and when hipster snowbirds from Canada come during the winter.
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