A poll shows a vast majority of children separated from their parents and held in custody by U.S. immigration officials believe President Donald Trump should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.
Read More »Elon Musk, Building His Own “The Onion,” Partners With Louisiana to Reach Nation’s Lowest Common Denominator
Visionary Elon Musk knows that if you want to reach the top, you have to work your way up from the bottom. That’s why the serial entrepreneur reportedly has his sights set on the shitshow known as Louisiana, investing heavily in the state’s laughingstock.
Read More »Trump Says Pardon Outlaws Thinking of D’Souza as Convicted Felon
President Donald Trump believes that, by pardoning someone convicted of a felony, he has made it illegal for people to continue thinking of that person as a convicted felon.
Read More »Pat Shingleton Announces Retirement, Launches Weather App for Seniors
Tenured weatherman and local cool guy Pat Shingleton has announced that he will retire from his post as WBRZ's chief forecaster at the end of the month.
Read More »White Woman Calls Cops on Black Man for Not Knowing “His Place”
A snooty, Caucasian member of a decades-old social club downtown summoned police because a black patron there failed to comply with her Jim Crow-era expectations.
Read More »Rep. Kenny Havard Forms Legislative Incel Caucus
A St. Francisville legislator best known for pissing off women of all political persuasions has created a group for male state lawmakers who can't get laid.
Read More »All Americans Over 40 Download Ransomware Disguised as Video of Teens Eating Tide Pods
Every computer in the U.S. operated by someone over the age of 40 has been compromised with malicious software disguised as a video promising to show teenagers eating Tide Pods, according to the FBI.
Read More »Mafia Upset With Being Compared to Trump, Associates
Leaders of various American crime syndicates are not happy with comparisons drawn between their enterprises and those of President Donald Trump and his associates.
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