Anyone who says they’re against torture has likely never heard grown men wail as power courses through the electrodes clipped to their testicles.
Read More »Trump Strategist Steve Bannon: “The Press Needs to Shut Up, Blow Me, and Make Me a Sandwich”
The American press should be quiet, fellate Steve Bannon, and prepare him a tasty sandwich, President Donald Trump’s chief strategist told The New York Times.
Read More »Chick-fil-A Now Opening on Sundays for Customers Going to Hell
The company’s 2,000-plus locations will offer a limited menu to those willing to burn for all eternity, concentrating on the eatery’s more popular menu items.
Read More »Trump Takes Credit for Growth in Outrage Manufacturing Sector
The Republican cited numerous reports of a dramatic increase in outrage production since his inauguration.
Read More »NFL Scraps Instant Replay: “Indisputable Video Evidence No Longer Exists in Trump’s America”
Citing Sean Spicer's first press briefing, league officials claimed the standard upon which the instant replay system is based is now an obsolete notion.
Read More »GUEST COLUMN: “We Have Plans” – U.S. Sen. Bill Cassidy
Yes, we have plans. Lots of them. And they are so very good.
Read More »“Get Over It! Trump’s Our President,” Insists Founder of “Impeach the Kenyan Muslim Nazi” Website
Jerry Brooker, who claimed Obama is a sleeper cell terrorist out to destroy the U.S., deems voicing dissent against Trump as unpatriotic whining.
Read More »Fatigued Term “Cajun” Checks Into Mayo Clinic for Treatment of Exhaustion
The popular descriptor “Cajun” has checked into the Mayo Clinic, where it is being treated for extreme exhaustion, according to physicians at the world-famous medical facility.
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