I finally made it. I am, at long last, a United States senator, and boy, does it feel dreamy.
Read More »Islamic State Reaffirms Desire to Kill All Humanity, Not Just Americans, Despite Trump’s Provocations
Notwithstanding President Donald Trump goading Muslim extremists to attack the U.S., the Islamic State group reassured the world that the terror organization still has its eyes set on destroying the entire human population, not just Americans.
Read More »Kellyanne Conway: “The Press Refuses to Cover That Thing I Just Made Up”
The counselor to the president of the United States excoriated the media for not reporting on something she had concocted in her mind only moments earlier.
Read More »LSU, Gordon McKernan Agree to Double Font Size of ‘G’ in Tigers
In an effort to increase public awareness of his association with the letter G, Baton Rouge attorney Gordon McKernan has inked a deal with the LSU Athletic Department.
Read More »Young Mother Upset Facebook Feed Constantly Reminding Her She Brought Child Into Burgeoning Dystopia
A first-time mother would like her Facebook friends to stop filling her feed with posts indicating she chose to have a child on the eve of America unraveling into a dystopian nightmare.
Read More »“Not All Trump Supporters Are Bigots” Claims Woman Who Says All Muslims Are Terrorists
Just because someone voted for President Donald Trump, it does not mean that person is hateful and close-minded, insists a woman who claims every Muslim is hell-bent on killing the rest of humanity.
Read More »ESPN: Islamic State Secures Top Recruiting Class
Upstart Islamic State has managed to secure this year’s most talented recruiting class, thanks in large part to President Donald Trump, according to ESPN.
Read More »FBI Uncovers Millions of Fraudulent Votes Cast in State of Delusiana
Millions of votes were cast unlawfully in last year's presidential election just in the state of Delusiana, according to the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
Read More »