Multiple sources confirm Trump is the subject of a highly classified program aimed at weaponizing the former model’s famously piercing glare.
Read More »New Health Care Bill to Change Doctor Visits to a Thumbs-Up/Thumbs-Down Rating System
Taking a cue from Rotten Tomatoes, Netflix, and the Roman Colosseum, the latest congressional health care bill would replace detailed analysis of a patient’s condition with a much simpler thumbs-up/thumbs-down diagnosis.
Read More »Police: Crawfish Pardoned by Lt. Gov. Billy Nungesser Goes on Violent Crime Spree
Lt. Gov. Billy Nungesser is feeling the heat after a crawfish to whom he granted a reprieve from being boiled alive allegedly went on to commit a series of violent crimes.
Read More »Sean Spicer’s Soul on Discount Shelf at D.C.-Area Thrift Shop
The heavily marked-down eternal soul of President Donald Trump’s press secretary is available for purchase at a secondhand store in a Washington, D.C., suburb.
Read More »Poor, Frightened Seniors Comforted by Trump’s Promise Americans Will Say “Merry Christmas” Again
Low-income elderly Americans scared by proposed draconian federal budget cuts and the prospect of skyrocketing health care costs are taking solace in President Donald Trump’s campaign promise that a venerable holiday greeting will enjoy a resurgence.
Read More »Paranoid Gardener Warns of Secret Plant Society: “The Bloominati Is Watching”
A conspiracy-minded green thumb insists malevolent forces are using common horticulture as a means of spying on the everyday activities of regular Americans.
Read More »Study: Prematurely Migrating Birds Too Stupid to Realize Climate Change a Hoax
Migratory birds are arriving at their breeding grounds earlier than they previously did because they've bought into the liberal lie that global warming is real, according to researchers at Liberty University.
Read More »White House Insists Any Probe Into Trump-Russia Ties Be Led by Pladimir Vutin
President Donald Trump’s administration is strongly urging that any investigation into possible Russian influence in last year’s presidential election be led by a relatively unknown person with a peculiar name.
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