Sen. Bill Cassidy received a software upgrade designed to ensure his ongoing, unconditional support of President Donald Trump, according to Cassidy's office.
Read More »Sen. Bill Cassidy Fails Humanity-confirming Kimmel, Turing Tests
Louisiana's senior U.S. senator has failed two tests, including one he created, that involve discerning an entity's status as a bona fide human being.
Read More »FEMA Orders Millions of Thoughts and Prayers for Louisiana Ahead of Harvey’s Landfall
FEMA has requisitioned approximately 10 million units of thoughts and prayers for Louisiana in advance of potential impacts from Hurricane Harvey.
Read More »Bill Cassidy Still Wondering How Many Licks Required to Reach Tootsie Pop Center
U.S. Sen. Bill Cassidy has taken time out from his quest of denying health care coverage for millions of Americans in order to get to a more pressing issue: figuring out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Read More »GUEST COLUMN: “What Idiot Came Up With the Kimmel Test?” — Sen. Bill Cassidy
A lot of people have been saying I failed something called the Kimmel test. Whoever set this arbitrary legislative standard must be a raging doofus.
Read More »Bill Cassidy Quietly Adds “On Opposite Day” to End of Kimmel Test
Louisiana Sen. Bill Cassidy shook up health care advocacy this week when he was overheard muttering "on opposite day" under his breath after explaining his "Kimmel Test" standard.
Read More »Sen. Bill Cassidy: “Affordable Care Act Good. Obamacare Bad.”
Physician and U.S. Senator Bill Cassidy made medical history last week by managing to detach a pair of terms that were previously believed to be inextricably synonymous.
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