Sphincter Spotlight

The ole brown i.

North St. Paul-Maplewood-Oakdale School District

Thanks to a capricious decision by this month’s Sphincter, a Minnesota high school student won’t be allowed to realize his goal of going to his senior prom with a bona fide porn star who agreed to go as his date after several girls at his school turned him down. Officials with the North St. Paul-Maplewood-Oakdale School District aren’t just buzz killers. They’re boner killers, to boot. It all started when the aforementioned girls at Tartan High School rejected 18-year-old Mike Stone’s copious invitations to accompany him to the senior prom. That’s when he did what several people have recently done: request a date with a celebrity through social media. Mike asked 600 porn stars to be his prom date via Twitter. He promised them a grand evening, tweeting, “I have dinner hotel and ill give u a massage to.” What adult actress in her right mind would say no? [pullquote]…even …

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National Education Association

We’re featuring the National Education Association in this 100th edition of “Sphincter Spotlight” for besmirching a woman whose sphincter has been in the spotlight countless times. The NEA recently rejected funds to promote reading because they were tied to former porn star Sasha Grey and the movie Anal Artists. The adult film was debuted last month by Assence Films. Although Grey retired from the industry in April, it features one of her scenes. In support of Grey’s “recent efforts to expose children to the world of literature,” (Grey was a celebrity guest reader in November at Emerson Elementary School in Compton, CA) Assence Films had planned on donating a portion of the film’s proceeds to the NEA’s Read Across America program. The NEA, however, flatly turned the offer down. In a statement to The Huffington Post, officials with the nation’s largest teachers union said, “no, thanks.” [pullquote]They had to go …

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Canyons School District

The sports world has seen more than its share of teams, for various reasons, change their mascots. However, when it comes to being overly sensitive about a school’s team name, the Canyons School District in Draper, UT, takes the proverbial cake “¦ so long as it’s not a coffee cake. Members of the school district last month rejected a proposal that would have made the Cougar the mascot of Draper’s new high school, slated to open in 2013. Now why would they veto the idea, despite Cougar getting the most votes for school mascot from future students? You guessed it. They thought it would be offensive to some middle-aged women. Yep, due to Courteney Cox and Demi Moore raising awareness of the term to the point that it registers on sheltered-Mormon-mom radar, school district members got calls and emails from uptight parents and members of the community opposing the Cougar …

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Clear Channel

For countless sports radio listeners and callers, as well as a handful of local hosts, the 2012 apocalypse came at the very beginning of the year instead of late December. That’s because, without warning, Clear Channel turned 1210 AM The Score into a gospel station in the wee hours of New Year’s morning. The huge media conglomerate reportedly switched the station’s format right as the new year was rung in, only nine days from the biggest weekend in Louisiana sports history. And it did it without declaring its intention to do so to any of the hosts who made their living on the airwaves. What a “Christian” way to introduce the new “Hallelujah 1210″ to the Baton Rouge community. Exactly how many underpowered, static-filled gospel stations does this city need? This latest one makes at least four. What, is the music they broadcast so powerful that if it were broadcast …

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