Opinion

Mostly genuine takes on genuine issues.

The Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson

America’s got plenty of problems and has made many mistakes, but any political hack can talk about unjustified wars and economic disparity. However, it takes a truly brave “Great American” to state that “one of the greatest mistakes that America made was to allow women the opportunity to vote.” In a 12-minute sermon recently published on YouTube, tea party activist the Rev. Jesse Lee Peterson boldly lamented women’s suffrage, pointing to it as the root cause of this country’s problems. He explained how women’s rise in power is causing the downfall of America. “We should have never turned [the vote] over to women,” Peterson said. “These women are voting for the wrong people. They’re voting for people who are evil, who agree with them, who are gonna take us down the pathway of destruction.” A valiant Peterson further proclaimed, “Men in the good old days understood the nature of women; …

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Henry Wolf

Everyone knows that BMWs and huge pricks go together like peanut butter and jelly. That’s why we were shocked to learn a San Francisco man is suing BMW, claiming a four-hour ride on one of its motorcycles resulted in him having an erection for the past two years. In a lawsuit filed in California Superior Court in April, 52-year-old Henry Wolf blames an after-market ridge-like seat mounted on his 1993 BMW bike for causing an acute case of priapism “” a persistent, lasting erection. Wolf claims both BMW and Corbin-Pacific, the seat’s manufacturer, are responsible for causing him emotional distress and “continuing problems” since the 2010 bike ride. The suit says that Wolf “is now unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish,” and that he’s seeking damages for lost wages, personal injury, medical expenses, product liability, and negligent infliction of emotional distress. …

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Egyptian Lawmakers

According to numerous international media reports, the land famous for preserving the bodies of its dead ancient leaders may soon pass a law that would allow husbands to have sex with the bodies of their deceased wives for up to six hours after death. The reports say that Egypt’s new Islamist-dominated parliament is preparing to introduce what’s being called the “farewell intercourse” law. Essentially, the bill would give a grieving widower the right to do what any loving husband feels compelled to do immediately after his wife’s passing: try to find solace through sex with her lifeless, yet still warm, corpse. The topic was apparently publicly broached in May of last year when Moroccan cleric Zamzami Abdul Bari said marriage remains valid even after death. Less than a year later, the internet and various news outlets are abuzz about Egypt taking the bold step of legalizing post-mortem intercourse. But why …

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