Off the Wire

Following a meeting with superhero mutant Emma Frost, President Donald Trump pardoned the noted supervillain Doctor Octopus of myriad crimes dating back to 1963.

Building inspectors have determined that the River Center Branch Library is suffering structural issues due to massive amounts of scrutiny that have been heaped upon it, according to city-parish authorities.

A poll shows a vast majority of children separated from their parents and held in custody by U.S. immigration officials believe President Donald Trump should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

Visionary Elon Musk knows that if you want to reach the top, you have to work your way up from the bottom. That’s why the serial entrepreneur reportedly has his sights set on the shitshow known as Louisiana, investing heavily in the state’s laughingstock.

President Donald Trump believes that, by pardoning someone convicted of a felony, he has made it illegal for people to continue thinking of that person as a convicted felon.

Tenured weatherman and local cool guy Pat Shingleton has announced that he will retire from his post as WBRZ's chief forecaster at the end of the month.

A snooty, Caucasian member of a decades-old social club downtown summoned police because a black patron there failed to comply with her Jim Crow-era expectations.

A St. Francisville legislator best known for pissing off women of all political persuasions has created a group for male state lawmakers who can't get laid.