Horrorscopes

He’d be wandering around the planet yelling this stuff at foreign leaders on your behalf. The president has a well-stocked nuclear bunker and an escape plan. You do not.

Mick Jagger got his girlfriend pregnant with his mummy-dust semen. He’s 72; she’s 29. So that’s weird. Let me tell you about how he’s spent his life.

I’ve taken the time to come up with some topically relevant ways to stay cool. Hang in there, Shtickers, and we just might last long enough to get to our first hurricane.

Knick Moore lets you know how bad it's going to get by looking at 12 of the commemorative weeks in May.

Every good Shticker out there knows the best day to celebrate April Fools' is all month long. So hit ‘em when they least expect it with one of Horrorscopes’ riffs on classic pranks.

Want to really drink like the Irish on St. Pat’s? As luck would have it, I have some advice for you.

Wondering what to do with the extra day we get this month? Knick Moore offers a dozen ways to improve yourself that can all be accomplished in a day or less.

Knick Moore offers 12 scenarios far more terrifying than Syrian refugees for you to distract your anti-refugee friends and family with.