Archived Columns

Have a friend who was recently dumped by some loser? Did your divorce just become finalized? Throw a pig-themed party and invite some friends over.

When reading one of George Morris' reviews, the female cast will be either insulted or disregarded entirely in favor of whichever male lead has stolen this local Kaufman's heart for the evening.

I HATE REMAKES (unless it involves superheroes)! Then I remembered (which gets harder as the years go by) who was one of the biggest superheroes of the '80s ... RoboCop.

Michael Atkinson on the abandoned Russian cruise ship Lyubov Orlova and her compliment of copious rats fighting for survival.

The Moz is usually game to speak to the press about anything, ever proud to show off the latest stick that's shoved up his ass.

Justin Bieber, hate him or hate him, is just following in the footsteps, blood trails, and urine stains that his musical forebears have set forth.

Officer Jack Boot is here to answer your law-enforcement-related queries. He's also here to bang your whore of a mother. And your wife.

I'm not the K.B. Tokin you've all come to know and avoid "¦ unless you have Febreze handy. You can call me K.B. TOKEN, and this is now my column, bitches!