Editorial Staff

A random collection of overqualified, underachieving smartasses.

J&D Foods

After much cajoling by the public, the folks at J&D Foods in Seattle have launched the world’s first bacon-flavored personal lubricant and massage oil. Thanks to the people who also make Bacon Salt and Baconnaise, bacon lovers (literally) can now order Baconlube, which has many more uses than even its creators seemingly realize. The company’s website says, “Baconlube started as an elaborate April Fool’s prank and was never intended to be a real product. But when the joke ended, the emails kept coming. People harassed us via email, in public, and in highly inappropriate ways.” What J&D’s people don’t seem to recognize is that they’ve created a product with a plethora of uses. Baconlube is almost as versatile as baking soda. They just don’t know it yet. Are you worried that the Middle Eastern guy you’re about to shag may be a jihadist looking for one last fling with an …

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Clear Channel

For countless sports radio listeners and callers, as well as a handful of local hosts, the 2012 apocalypse came at the very beginning of the year instead of late December. That’s because, without warning, Clear Channel turned 1210 AM The Score into a gospel station in the wee hours of New Year’s morning. The huge media conglomerate reportedly switched the station’s format right as the new year was rung in, only nine days from the biggest weekend in Louisiana sports history. And it did it without declaring its intention to do so to any of the hosts who made their living on the airwaves. What a “Christian” way to introduce the new “Hallelujah 1210″ to the Baton Rouge community. Exactly how many underpowered, static-filled gospel stations does this city need? This latest one makes at least four. What, is the music they broadcast so powerful that if it were broadcast …

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