Louisiana Oilfield Paralyzed After Workers Burn Ford Trucks Over NFL Player Protests

BROUSSARD — Louisiana’s petroleum industry is in crisis after countless oilfield workers burned their employers’ white Ford F-150 trucks in protest against the automaker’s 2017 statement in support of NFL players taking a knee during the national anthem.

According to local authorities, thousands of angry oil and gas production employees set fire to their company vehicles after learning Ford stated last year that they stand behind Colin Kaepernick and other NFL players who peacefully protest police brutality during pregame ceremonies.

Self-described “patriot” and weekend gun enthusiast Blake Doucet allegedly poured a gallon of gas into his Baker Hughes truck’s interior before setting it in neutral and flipping a cigarette into it as the company vehicle rolled into Bayou Teche.

“First it was the NFL, then Nikes, now it’s our trucks,” Doucet said. “What’s next, our Acadiana flag?”

About Manny Schewitz

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Manny Schewitz is a progressive liberal from the Dirty South with a thirst for the truth, humor, and whiskey. He is a co-founder of Progressive Frontier, an avid poker player, and an unapologetic liberal who supports gun regulations. Manny is also on Facebook, and you can follow him on Twitter as well.

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