EXCLUSIVE: Michael Lunsford Leads Charge Against Drag Queens After 2003 Bangkok Incident

St. Martin Parish resident and area conservative servant Michael Lunsford has made it a point to insert himself in the current shitstorm involving drag queens reading to kids at the main branch of the Lafayette Public Library.

While Lunsford has usually stayed away from social issues and stuck with destroying the local infrastructure in the parish neighboring the one where he resides, this foray into the world of glitter and pretty dresses has not completely taken people by surprise.

The Red Shtick caught up with Lunsford after the most recent Lafayette City-Parish Council meeting and asked him what he had against cross-dressers:

I was jet-lagged and drunk in Bangkok on a layover back in 2003. As a guy who grew up on stolen communion wine and Bud Light, I was no match for SangSom rum shots.

What I thought was a really beautiful woman turned out to be a supple ladyboy who kept calling me Stu, for some odd reason. I oppose allowing drag queens to read to our kids because not only is reading a pathway to liberal indoctrination, I’m determined to repress that disturbing memory as much as possible.

You know how some people are terrified of clowns? Well, that’s how I am with drag queens. Besides, (Mayor-President) Joel (Robideaux) really, really wants a distraction from that whole LUS fiasco.

Before we could probe further, Lunsford quickly disappeared in a puff of smoke and glitter.

About Tony Swartz

Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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