LSU Football Fans Listed as Questionable for Home Opener Against Southeastern Lions

While the 2018 LSU football team has had to deal with numerous injuries and off-field issues, the Tigers may face their biggest challenge so far in their home opener against Southeastern Louisiana University.

The LSU Athletic Department has announced that the entire crowd expected to pack Tiger Stadium on Saturday, September 8, has been listed as questionable for the contest against the Southland Conference powerhouse from Hammond.

“We are hopeful our fan base will be out there in full support, because we need every one of those 102,000 screaming Tiger fans if LSU is expected to cover the 45 points by which the team is currently favored,” LSU Athletic Director Joe Alleva said.

While Alleva admits attendance for LSU home games has been down over the past few years, he insists it has nothing to do with nonconference scheduling.

“We need every one of those 102,000 screaming Tiger fans if LSU is expected to cover the 45 points by which the team is currently favored.”

“We at the Athletic Department want LSU to face the toughest opponents possible, which is why we scheduled one of the top 10 football programs in our state,” Alleva explained. “Our inevitable victory will get us even bigger schools like Southern or Nicholls.”

Alleva said he’s also considered giving fans more incentives, like lowering the price of parking and offering real food at concession stands.

“We are currently in talks with several fast-food chains, and we are hopeful a deal can get done. At the very least, we will allow our fans to order from Waitr using our powerful 2G broadband Wi-Fi.”

Even with LSU trying to appease its loyal fans, many are willing to skip this game in favor of looking for something else to do.

“Why go all the way to campus to get drunk?” schoolteacher Mary Fentons asked. “I can do that at home and not be stuck in traffic for two hours.”

Despite the challenges, Alleva remains confident they’ll be able to fill Tiger Stadium for nonconference games.

“We’ve found that vagrants aren’t picky about where they sleep,” Alleva stated. “They’ll be able to get some much needed rest on relatively clean concrete while dealing with minimal noise. I think we’ll be just fine.”


About Robert Rau

Considered a poor man's Pat Sajak, Robert is a mild mannered state employee by day, entertainer by night.

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