GUEST COLUMN: I’m Sorry for Cursing While Choking a Bitch – Connie Bernard, EBR School Board VP

I’d like to take this opportunity to address recent news reports about an incident in my neighborhood.

First, as vice president of the East Baton Rouge Parish School Board, I would like to apologize to my family and my friends for any embarrassment and concern I may have caused them. Specifically, I would like to apologize for my language heard in that video of me choking that little bitch who took my cellphone.

I am grateful for the outpouring of love and support from colleagues, friends, and family who totally have my back regarding my right to barge into a neighbor’s house and grab the throat of some shitass who refused to give me back my goddam phone.

Oopsie-daisy, I did it again. My apologies for using such coarse language while retelling the harrowing details of being forced to break into my friend’s rental home where several young people had the unmitigated gall to enjoy themselves on a Friday night. How dare they have fun within earshot of someone as obviously miserable as myself!

I’m so sorry for cursing while expressing my desire to violently rip out a bitch’s larynx.

Nevertheless, I will continue to work tirelessly in service to our community and humbly ask for your prayers that God give me the strength to rip out the larynx of that muthafucker if he tries to pull that shit on me the next time I bust up in his crib. ?

Oh my, I did it again. I’m so sorry for cursing while expressing my desire to violently rip out a bitch’s larynx.

As a public servant dedicated to educating our community’s young people, I firmly believe it is imperative to teach them that they shouldn’t drink if they’re underage. If that requires forcibly removing an 18-year-old bitch’s gullet with my bare hands, so be it.

I hope everyone understands that I am not able to comment any further on this incident involving my right to enter a private residence and grab the throats of little bitches who won’t give me my phone so I can call the police. I plan to continue in my responsibilities, and I will continue to work to maintain your trust and respect by refraining from cursing while choking out muthafuckers.

Darn it! 😉


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