Papa John’s Introduces N-word Lover’s Pizza

Papa John’s Pizza soon will start offering customers a new specialty pizza at its 4,700-plus locations across the U.S., according to founder and chairman John Schnatter.

Starting next week, the take-out and delivery pizza chain’s menu will include the N-word Lover’s Pizza, Schnatter said at a press conference earlier today.

The 56-year-old Schnatter acknowledged that the new pizza is an attempt to quell a firestorm caused by comments he admittedly made during a May conference call, including uttering the N-word. The call was designed as a role-playing exercise to help prevent further public-relations imbroglios of Schnatter’s own creation.

Papa John’s will offer a 25% discount for customers who call in and order the new pizza by its full, uncensored, epithet-laden name.

Schnatter said he personally created and designed the pizza to ensure the pie conveyed an unambiguous message of inclusion and tolerance.

“The new N-word Lover’s Pizza features fried chicken, collard greens, and lots of good ol’ government cheese piled high atop a dark crust,” Schnatter proclaimed. “I went with ingredients I knew those people like.”

Schnatter added that Papa John’s will offer a 25% discount for customers who call in and order the new pizza by its full, uncensored, epithet-laden name.

“People aren’t using the phone to order pizza like they used to. Same thing goes for dropping N-bombs,” he explained. “If you have the balls to call someone you don’t know, give them your name and address, and actually say the word, you deserve a discount.”

 

About Tony Swartz

Tony Swartz
Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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