Sen. Kennedy Goes Apeshit After Treasurer Returns $2.3 Million in Unclaimed Funds to LA Resident

Louisiana’s junior senator totally lost his shit after learning the man who replaced him as state treasurer gave a record amount of unclaimed property to a sole resident.

U.S. Sen. John Kennedy went completely off the rails and said some really stupid shit within moments of state Treasurer John Schroder announcing his office had returned a record $2.3 million in unclaimed oil royalties to a single beneficiary in north Louisiana.

The Republican senator, who played the fuck out of returning unclaimed property to potential voters for 17 goddam years as the state’s head banker, appeared to have a psychotic breakdown on KPEL radio in Acadiana just moments after Schroder’s headline-grabbing announcement.

Gov. John Bel Edwards should resign amid the state’s fiscal problems, Kennedy said on the air like a total fuckwad.

After calling for the governor’s resignation on live fucking radio, the unhinged asshat then said Republican Lt. Gov. Billy Nungesser, the same guy who secretly negotiated a deal to “save the state” with a glorified Nigerian prince scammer from Iraq, should replace Edwards to fix Louisiana’s budget problems.

Kennedy then continued to talk out of his ass, ostensibly in some cartoonishly folksy manner, about how he’s tired of Edwards blaming former douchenozzle Gov. Bobby Jindal and the collection of irreconcilable dipshits known as the state legislature.

For eight years, then-Treasurer Kennedy hardly said jack shit about Jindal wrecking the absolute fuck out of the state budget by habitually using fucking one-time funds for muthafucking recurring expenses.

But now that Edwards has been having trouble fixing the mess left by his dipshit predecessor, trouble largely due to the GOP-led legislature being a bunch of unmitigated assholes who’d rather see the entire state burn to the fucking ground than see a Democrat win re-election as governor, something apparently has broken in Kennedy’s Oxford-educated brain.

After calling for the governor’s resignation on live fucking radio, the unhinged asshat then said Republican Lt. Gov. Billy Nungesser, the same guy who secretly negotiated a deal to “save the state” with a glorified Nigerian prince scammer from Iraq, should replace Edwards to fix Louisiana’s budget problems.

When asked for comment about Kennedy’s latest mouth turd, the governor’s spokesman Richard Carbo replied, “Fuck that guy.”

About Tony Swartz

Tony Swartz
Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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