NASA Designing Probe to Reach World Occupied by Fox News Viewers

The nation’s space agency says it is working on an ambitious project in the hopes of making contact with a strange, alien world inhabited by millions of Fox News devotees.

NASA spokesman George Diller said Project Bubblebuster involves launching a probe later this year with the aim of communicating with the population of the Fox News orb.

“In some ways, it’s similar to our own Earth, but much more turbulent, with fiery rhetoric constantly erupting all over the place,” Diller said. “Plus, the atmosphere is radically different from anything we’ve ever seen before. Yet the beings there seem to thrive in it. They breathe in Hannatium and exhale Tucker Carlson dioxide.”

“They seem to believe they are constantly under threat of being overtaken by brown aliens, so they have formidable defenses to keep them out, as well as any idea that might threaten their worldview.”

Diller said initial studies indicate the Fox News world’s atmosphere is also extremely hostile to rational life forms.

“The environment is much too inhospitable for reason and nuance. We’ve yet to find evidence of even a single drop of intellectual honesty.”

NASA admits that, while getting to the alien world might seem easy, actually communicating with its inhabitants may prove quite difficult, if not impossible, which could doom the entire project.

“They seem to believe they are constantly under threat of being overtaken by brown aliens, so they have formidable defenses to keep them out, as well as any idea that might threaten their worldview,” Diller explained. “This could all be for naught. There’s a not insignificant chance the whole place may prove impenetrable to even the most scientifically advanced probing.”

About Tony Swartz

Tony Swartz
Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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