Jeff Landry: “I’m Just Making Sure Nobody’s Hiding Cocaine Under My House Again”

In response to accusations of being a serial meddler, Louisiana Attorney General Jeff Landry insists he’s merely ensuring that no one is storing cocaine under his residence without his knowledge.

State officials and political observers say the first-term Republican attorney general has frequently and unduly involved himself in issues outside his purview. They cite his numerous tiffs with Gov. John Bel Edwards — including skirmishes over emergency renewals of the state’s Medicaid managed care contracts, and control over Edwards’ administration’s lawsuit against opioid manufacturers — as well as Landry’s intervention in dozens of lawsuits filed by coastal parishes against oil and gas companies over wetlands damage.

However, Landry maintains that what some see as repeated overstepping of his jurisdiction is actually just an attempt to prevent a repeat of a hard lesson he learned in 1993 while working as a St. Martin Parish sheriff’s deputy.

“I had no idea my roommate had stashed more than 100 grams of coke under our house, and I was a cop with, like, investigative training and stuff,” Landry explained. “If I had stuck my nose in his business more, maybe I would have known $10,000 worth of cocaine was hiding literally under my nose.”

“You can call me whatever you want for getting in everybody’s business; I’m just making sure nobody’s hiding cocaine under my house again.”

That episode, according to Landry, taught him that you can never be too intrusive into matters others may deem none of your concern.

“I don’t care that people say I never stay in my lane. I stayed in my lane before, and it turned out the guy I was living with had stolen cocaine from the evidence room at the Sheriff’s Office where we both worked and kept it under the floor. So you can call me whatever you want for getting in everybody’s business; I’m just making sure nobody’s hiding cocaine under my house again.”

Landry vowed to remain vigilant against anyone attempting to store the narcotic under his residence by continuing to make a political nuisance of himself.

“It’s like my momma used to tell me: Store coke under my house once, shame on you. Store coke under my house twice, shame on me.”

 

About Tony Swartz

Tony Swartz
Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

Check Also

Cortana Mall to Be Taken Off Life Support

Doctors at Our Lady of Lake Hospital sadly report a former major shopping venue will soon be taken off life support.