Open Letter to Lee Dragna, the Saints Season Ticket Holder Suing Over Player Protests

Mr. Dragna,

I understand you recently filed suit against the New Orleans Saints, demanding a refund on your season tickets because some of the players have not stood during the national anthem this season. I see where you claim that handful of players protesting police brutality has prevented you and your family from enjoying the game.

From a 47-year-old lifelong fan of the team to an obviously newbie Saints fan, allow me to clue you in on something: Millions of Saints fans have endured pain and suffering and mental anguish because the Saints disappointed them. However, you’re the first one moronic enough to sue them for it.

Look, I get it. You saw a couple Saints players do something you see as ridiculously stupid on the field, and you can’t get over it. I feel ya, man. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen, live and in person in the Superdome, someone in a Saints uniform do something I never thought I’d see a supposedly professional football player do during an NFL game.

Millions of Saints fans have endured pain and suffering and mental anguish because the Saints disappointed them. However, you’re the first one moronic enough to sue them for it.

Hell, they were so embarrassing, I literally went to a Saints game with an actual paper bag on my head. Same goes for thousands of other fans. You know how hard it is to “enjoy” a game with a bag on your head?

But that’s how we dealt with the Saints when they upset us. We didn’t sue the team in 24th Judicial District Court in Gretna, seeking a refund for our tickets and attorney’s fees.

I know you haven’t attended a game since the team dropped to 0-2 in the season home opener against New England, so here’s a tip: They haven’t lost at home since. Crazy, huh? They’re all but guaranteed a playoff berth. The Dome’s been rockin’ withoutcha’, brah.

Nevertheless, your lawsuit says that when you did go to the game against the Patriots, some of the players didn’t come out for the anthem, after which “they passed directly in front of where the petitioner and his guests were seated. Many of the fans in that area booed and cursed at the Saints players.”

See, that’s how I can tell you haven’t been a fan very long. Booing and cursing at Saints players is as much a New Orleans tradition as yelling “Who dat.” For Christ’s sake, my old man started taking me to games when Hank Stram was the head coach. Google that, son. You want to see a team booed and cursed at by its own fans en masse, look up “Dick Nolan Saints 1980.”

Honestly, do you have any idea what we Saints fans would’ve endured in those days for the chance to see them clinch a playoff berth? I’m pretty sure fans going to the games back then would’ve been perfectly OK with every player and coach pulling down their pants at midfield, taking a pregame dump on the AstroTurf, and wiping their ass with the American flag if we knew it meant they’d win the NFC West Division title.

Your suit also insists, “Apparently, these players were following the lead of (former San Francisco 49ers quarterback) Colin Kaepernick by disrespecting the flag, the anthem, the USA and those who have served and are serving the USA in our military.”

OMG! Those seats are totally unusable now! They’ve been cursed with the bad juju of pissed-off Saints fans! Them and every other goddam seat in the Superdome!

Oh noes! Your little snowflake feelings were hurt because a couple of black men getting paid millions didn’t respectfully stand for the national anthem at a Saints game, so you’re suing the organization. But why aren’t you suing the countless drunk-ass fans of all colors who were undoubtedly too inebriated to do the same? Where’s the demand for punitive damages because they disrespected the flag, the nation, its anthem, and its veterans?

In any case, I see where The Advocate (I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess you call them “fake news”) said of you, “Dragna, a businessman in Morgan City, said … the rowdy, angry reaction of the people around his seats has made the tickets unusable by him and his family, as well as customers he would otherwise give the tickets to.”

OMG! Those seats are totally unusable now! They’ve been cursed with the bad juju of pissed-off Saints fans! Them and every other goddam seat in the Superdome!

I’m sort of joking, unlike you, who reportedly feels “the behavior of some fans upset by the protests — cursing, spilling beer — is ‘borderline dangerous.'”

Seriously, dude? Name a place in New Orleans that isn’t “borderline dangerous.”

By the way, watching a game in the Dome, surrounded by people cursing and spilling beer, isn’t borderline dangerous. It’s called not having enough money to lease a suite.

How about this: Instead of suing an NFL team for a refund for season tickets because you don’t want your “kids growing up thinking that those are their heroes … and it’s OK to do that stuff, especially on TV and especially on your job site,” why not do what every other sane individual does when he or she wants to unload some tickets — namely, sell them on StubHub? I read where you have some pretty good seats, so I’m sure you can get face value given how well the Saints are doing this year. Plus, you wouldn’t look like a complete tool in the process.

Name a place in New Orleans that isn’t “borderline dangerous.”

I know you said the suit isn’t frivolous and is “as honest as it gets,” but that’s what every filer of a bullshit lawsuit says.

So, instead of filing publicity-seeking, frivolous lawsuits against a team because a couple of players did something you didn’t like, maybe sue someone you have a legitimate case against, like whoever produced this actual campaign ad for your 2012 bid for mayor of Morgan City:

Unlike your Saints lawsuit, I’m fairly certain you can find a sympathetic judge and jury to right that wrong. I mean, that thing is nothing short of criminal.

 

About Jeremy White

Jeremy White
Jeremy White is an engineer by education, but a smartass by birth. He managed to overcome the obstacles presented by his technical background, and has brilliantly devised a way to make a living making fun of people.

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