GUEST COLUMN: Boundaries of Friendship Are Strangely Drawn — Gerald H. Mandering

I am one lonely guy, but I can’t for the life of me figure out why.

I try to put myself out there as much as possible. Really, I bet you’ve seen me all over Louisiana and didn’t know it.

But I’ve been told that people find me polarizing. Y’know, sometimes I walk into a bar and, as if on cue, I see patrons break into oddly structured divisions characterized by race, socioeconomic class, and prevailing political ideology. It’s the strangest thing.

What’s worse is, whenever I do manage to forge friendships, every 10 years or so they just stop returning my calls, and there I am, starting from scratch. Talk about fair-weather friends.

What ever happened to live and let live in oddly structured divisions characterized by race, socioeconomic class, and prevailing political ideology?

When things are going our way, everyone acts like I’m the life of the party. They buy me drinks, they laugh at my jokes, they benefit from the oddly structured divisions characterized by race, socioeconomic class, and prevailing political ideology that I seem to create everywhere I go. But eventually the wind shifts, and I’m all alone until the next group of glad-handers comes along.

I’m here to tell you, this is all really taking a toll on my well-being.

And if that’s not enough, I recently heard that there’s a price on my head from a group called Fair Districts Louisiana. What ever happened to live and let live in oddly structured divisions characterized by race, socioeconomic class, and prevailing political ideology?

Every morning, I take a good look in the mirror before facing the day and I say, “Gerry Mandering, pull yourself together.” But it seems like everything I touch just falls apart into … well, you know.

 

About Chris Wedgewood

Chris Wedgewood
Chris has been retweeted by people who read nationwide publications like The New York Times and The Washington Post. He plays bass in the swamp metal band Saint Landry Perish.

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