Rep. Kenny Havard Filmed Propositioning American Flag

A security video recording from a taxicab shows Republican State Rep. Kenny Havard, of St. Francisville, apparently making a pass at an American flag.

In the dim footage, the triangularly folded flag rests next to Havard in the back seat as he gently caresses one corner with his fingertips.

“I always rise for ‘The Star-Spangled Banner,’ if you know what I mean,” Havard can be heard whispering breathily.

The married legislator made headlines in 2016 for proposing an amendment to impose maximum limits on the age and weight of strippers. Recently, Havard also threatened to introduce a bill to pull state subsidies from the New Orleans Saints in retaliation for some team members kneeling in protest during the national anthem.

“Baby, you were stunning on that pole tonight. Soon as I saw you, I knew you were a FILF — a flag I’d like to fly.”

Before exiting the taxi with the flag tucked under his arm, Havard continues, “You really are a grand old flag, and baby, you were stunning on that pole tonight. Soon as I saw you, I knew you were a FILF — a flag I’d like to fly.”

Havard offered a short written reply when asked for comment.

“The fact is that I really really love my country, like more than friends. The fact is it’s not illegal to share a cab with a rectangle of nylon fabric. And the fact is that at just 12 ounces and far less than 28 years old, that American flag passed both of my sexy tests with flying colors, no pun intended.”

Havard concluded, “This state has become far too politically correct, and if you’ll excuse me, this conversation has made me politically erect.”


About Chris Wedgewood

Chris Wedgewood
Chris has been retweeted by people who read nationwide publications like The New York Times and The Washington Post. He plays bass in the swamp metal band Saint Landry Perish.

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