State Rep., Pro Shooter Blake Miguez Misses Flooded District by 5,000 Miles

ABBEVILLE — Professional target shooter and District 49 State Rep. Blake Miguez committed a remarkable error in marksmanship last week, missing his hurricane-battered district by 20 percent of the Earth’s circumference.

As Hurricane Harvey encroached on Miguez’s district, dumping over a foot of rain on its residents, a miscalculation in aim placed him in Chateauroux, France, almost 5,000 miles to the east of his constituents.

“Look, much of my district was under a voluntary evacuation order, so I voluntarily evacuated to the French countryside,” the lawmaker from New Iberia said.

Miguez’s social media posts for the week focused exclusively on his performance at an international competitive shooting tournament and made no mention of his legislative district, which was under a state of emergency declared by Gov. John Bel Edwards.

“Hurricanes happen all the time now, and I think sooner or later we’re going to have to try shooting them down. It takes a good guy with a gun to stop a bad storm.”

“Trust me,” Miguez said, “the good people of District 49 will thank me later for promoting our constitutional right to bear arms. Hurricanes happen all the time now, and I think sooner or later we’re going to have to try shooting them down. It takes a good guy with a gun to stop a bad storm.”

Jeff Thibodeaux, a Miguez voter from Erath, agrees.

“Blake is a crack shot, and that’s what counts when flooding closes all the roads and grocery stores and you’re forced to hunt for wild nutria and defend the crumbling remains of your ruined home,” Thibodeaux explained.

Miguez brushed off criticism of his allegedly misplaced priorities.

“Don’t believe the fake news media. I hit exactly where I was aiming: rural France. When the time comes, the people of my district know exactly who they can count on: Senators Fred Mills and Bret Allain.”

 

About Chris Wedgewood

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