History Eagerly Awaits Getting Its Hands on Sean Hannity

The annals of human events are anxiously waiting for sufficient time to go by to demolish conservative political talk show host Sean Hannity.

The Fox News pundit deserves to be utterly reviled by future generations as a malevolent influence, contributing significantly to the decline of human decency and America’s goodness, according to History.

“Saying ‘History won’t be kind to Sean Hannity’ may be the biggest understatement in Me,” an impatient History said. “I can’t wait for another 20 or 30 years to pass. I’m going to destroy that smug, opportunistic, hypocritical douchebag.”

“I swear, as soon as enough time goes by to create a modicum of capacity for perspective, I’m going to beat the ever-living shit out of his smarmy ass.”

With every passing day Hannity remains an influential voice in the American dialogue,  the record of bygone times grows more eager to begin pummeling the political commentator.

“God, I can’t stand that asshole! I swear, as soon as enough time goes by to create a modicum of capacity for perspective, I’m going to beat the ever-living shit out of his smarmy ass,” the aggregate of past events proclaimed.

History says it’s extremely confident in its ability to mercilessly malign Hannity and his legacy for all of perpetuity.

“The guy who can’t leave his house without wrapping himself in the legacy of Reagan is the staunchest defender of a president who seemingly every day is trying to wipe his ass with the Constitution. Every time he opens his mouth, he just further entrenches himself on the wrong side of Me.”

 

About Tony Swartz

Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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