“Hillary Would’ve Been Worse,” Newly Clairvoyant Woman Says

An area grandmother who just this year discovered her ability to definitively perceive alternate timelines says Hillary Clinton would be a worse president than Donald Trump.

For the first 52 years of her life, family and friends insist, Martha Singleton, of Baton Rouge, never showed any demonstrable power to discern with certainty the details of other realities.

That all changed, they say, earlier this year after President Trump was sworn in.

“Anytime the latest scandal pops up, she never fails to announce Trump is still doing a better job than Clinton would be doing had she won.”

“It was like, as soon as he said ‘so help me God’ on Inauguration Day, she started telling everyone that Hillary would’ve been worse,” recalled Singleton’s oldest son, Lance Singleton. “Every time the president tweets or says something crazy or offensive, or anytime the latest scandal pops up, she never fails to announce Trump is still doing a better job than Clinton would be doing had she won.”

The twice-divorced father of three wishes his mother had acquired her quantum clairvoyance years ago.

“For years, I beat myself up for marrying my first wife instead of my old college girlfriend, and my mom would just tell me, ‘Nobody knows for sure if you would’ve been happier with her,'” Singleton explained. “Had she had this ability to see into alternative realities, maybe she could’ve allayed my regrets by telling me my girlfriend would’ve been a much bigger bitch of a wife.”

 

About Tony Swartz

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