Mayor Broome’s Solution for Baton Rouge Traffic: Blow Up the Bridge

In a press conference earlier today, Mayor Sharon Weston Broome delivered her plan for solving one of the city’s biggest concerns.

“There are too many people coming in from outside of Baton Rouge. If they can’t come into the city, then they can’t block up our roads. I say we blow up the bridge,” Broome said, referencing the Horace Wilkinson Bridge, which carries Interstate 10 traffic over the Mississippi River.

Broome’s proclamation was met with thunderous applause from supporters in the room, followed by chants of “Blow up the bridge” and “Bridge gotta go.”

The Horace Wilkinson Bridge is not only the main bridge out of town but also has serious design flaws, including bottlenecking three lanes down to one at the Washington Street exit. Political leaders have looked into widening or modernizing the I-10/I-110 interchange, but the cost and time has always been a concern.

Residents have started fleeing to either bank depending on which part of America they would prefer to be shut off from.

“Blow up the bridge? Hell, I’ll do that for free,” demolition expert Horace Wilks said. “That metal eyesore has made me late one too many times. I’ll be glad to see it go.”

But not everyone is on board with the new plan, especially if it means having to use the Huey P. Long Bridge on U.S. 190.

“If the only way out of town is going over the Huey or driving thru Denham Springs, I guess I’m stuck here,” longtime Baton Rouge resident Cindy Reese said.

When asked about taking 1-10 to New Orleans, Reese just laughed and walked away.

Demolition is expected to happen sometime in the coming months, but residents have started fleeing to either bank depending on which part of America they would prefer to be shut off from.

“Never having to visit Texas is tempting,” Port Allen resident Mike Rutledge said, “but I’d miss all those free meals at the Crazy Horse. Let me get back to you.”


About Robert Rau

Considered a poor man's Pat Sajak, Robert is a mild mannered state employee by day, entertainer by night.

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