Congressman Clay Higgins to Explore Adult Film Career During August Recess

Congressman Clay Higgins plans to spend his August recess from Congress in Las Vegas exploring a side career in adult entertainment, according to sources in Port Barre.

The former law enforcement personality who became a viral social media star with his appearances on Crime Stoppers has already packed up his beloved TV cameras and booked a seat on a Greyhound bus, where he plans to practice yelling at drunks on the two-day ride to Sin City.

The first-term congressman from Acadiana is hoping to get away from the hard job of threatening Muslims and sleeping in his office, and is looking forward to relaxing on some sketchy couches with suspicious stains on them in Las Vegas.

“I’ve been told I could play in some kinkier films, like cuckold fetishes, which I am really excited about. Plus, this is a good way to catch up on that stupid child support order, once and for all.”

“I haven’t been told what roles I will play in these films, but I packed my old St. Landry Sheriff’s Department uniform just in case I get to play a cop, just like I did back before I was elected to Congress,” Higgins told a group of Port Barre residents at the local Love’s Travel Stop. “I’ve been told I could play in some kinkier films, like cuckold fetishes, which I am really excited about. Plus, this is a good way to catch up on that stupid child support order, once and for all.”

House Speaker Paul Ryan reportedly assured Higgins that he likely won’t incur any blowback from members of Congress within his party, explaining that “no decent Republican would ever watch such videos, especially not in incognito browser mode.”

As for his constituents, many political observers agree that residents in Higgins’ district likely will not get the chance to see any of their congressman’s adult performances due to the area’s shitty internet connections provided by companies like Acadiana Broadband.

Prospective productions starring Higgins include Schindler’s Sexy List, an adult film shot on location at Auschwitz. Higgins is slated to play a Nazi prison guard.

There is also Sophie’s Dirty Choice, and possibly a Cajun twist on Debbie Does Dallas, starring Higgins’ wife, shot in Delcambre.

Filming is set to begin during the August congressional recess.

 

About Manny Schewitz

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Manny Schewitz is a progressive liberal from the Dirty South with a thirst for the truth, humor, and whiskey. He is a co-founder of Progressive Frontier, an avid poker player, and an unapologetic liberal who supports gun regulations. Manny is also on Facebook, and you can follow him on Twitter as well.

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