HERO HIGHLIGHT: Madison Ivy — Cumback Queen

Not all heroes wear capes. In fact, some wear nothing at all. Such is the case with adult film star — and inspiration to millions — Madison Ivy.

The 28-year-old who made her name and living getting wrecked has released her first adult video since nearly being killed in a car wreck two-and-a-half years ago.

Thank goodness for size D airbags.

The story of Madison’s return is nothing short of inspirational. Some might say gripping. Or touching. Definitely stimulating.

A post from January 25, 2015, on her official Instagram account showed a severely injured Madison laid up in the hospital with copious tubes in her body and donning a neck brace with an opening ostensibly to access her esophagus. The post also lists some of the myriad injuries caused by the accident, including a fractured spine and a torn stomach.

According to a recent, less-than-SFW Instagram post, the 4’11” starlet couldn’t stand for more than half a minute at a time 18 months ago after losing more than half her body weight and having three of her organs “replaced with tube machines.”

Another post from late last year shows where tubes had been inserted in her abdomen to deliver food, water, and medicine. In addition to disallowing her to eat or drink for six months, doctors gave Madison six rods and 10 screws in her spine, as well as an eight percent chance of survival.

Well, not only did the woman born Clorisa Briggs make it, but she’s back to doing what many men (and possibly a few women) feared she’d never do again: After taking a half-dozen rods in her back, Madison took a rod on camera for the first time since the accident in the Brazzers exclusive Return of Ivy.

While Madison’s scenes have always been absolutely stunning, this comeback feature is nothing short of awe-inspiring. Two-and-a-half years after having her spine fractured and multiple organs severely damaged, she climbs, spins around on, and gracefully descends from the ceiling on a brass pole.

As for those 10 screws in her back, they only seem to have made her extra-screwable. You’ll have to find the full version to see it for yourself.

The story of Madison’s return is nothing short of inspirational. Some might say gripping. Or touching. Definitely stimulating.

However, at the risk of sounding greedy, we certainly hope Madison does what countless people having been hoping and praying for since Donald Trump announced his candidacy for the presidency: portray her doppelganger, first lady Melania Trump, in a series of adult spoof videos. (FYI: There’s a reason why our “QUIZ: Melania or Madison” has been taken by thousands of people around the world.)

Here are just a few potential titles we’re offering to hopefully get the balls rolling, slapping, and draining:

  • Tail to the Chief
  • Hump-Penis 2016
  • Colluding With Slovenia
  • A Second Penetration for the First Lady
  • White House Blue Balls
  • All the President’s Women
  • The Flotus’ Filthy Lotus

and — of course —

  • Grab ‘Em by the Pussy.


About Editorial Staff

A random collection of overqualified, underachieving smartasses.

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