Trump Scandals Prompt News Corp to Launch Obama/Clinton-Themed Fox News Classic

In an effort to more thoroughly distract viewers from the myriad bombshell reports about President Donald Trump’s administration and campaign, the company that owns the conservative media outlet Fox News has launched a sister channel dedicated to airing old stories about Barack Obama, Bill and Hillary Clinton, and other despised Democrats.

Until now, several Fox News hosts have attempted to deflect attention from the increasingly frequent breaking stories about Trump and possible collusion between his campaign and Russia by discussing past sins of Democratic leaders and their administrations.

The ad hoc strategy has proven effective enough to convince News Corp executives to start Fox News Classic, a new channel designed to blind Fox News fans from Trump’s troubles with rage about events that are no longer pertinent, according to a company spokesman.

“It turns out there’s still a lot of tread on those old controversies, and we’re going to squeeze as much mileage out of them as we can while avoiding covering the troubles of the Trump White House.”

“After seeing Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity were still getting solid ratings doing stories on ancient news like the Clinton Foundation and Benghazi night after night while every other news outlet was covering the latest Trump scandal, we realized we had stumbled upon a new opportunity,” explained Jim Kennedy, executive vice president and chief communications officer at News Corp. “It turns out there’s still a lot of tread on those old controversies, and we’re going to squeeze as much mileage out of them as we can while avoiding covering the troubles of the Trump White House.”

Kennedy said Fox News Classic will feature extensive coverage of dated topics its core demographic still finds infuriating.

“Fox News Classic is going to have all the stories Fox News viewers love to be reminded of, like Monica Lewinsky, Paula Jones, Whitewater, Sidney Blumenthal, Vince Foster conspiracy theories, Obamacare, death panels, Fast and Furious, Solyndra, and how Obama is going to take away everyone’s guns,” he stated.

Kennedy said the new 24-hour news archives channel’s slogan will be somewhat similar to Fox News’ “We report. You decide.”

“We settled on ‘We remind. You stay mad,'” Kennedy said. “It’s a bit catchier than our original idea, ‘Hey, remember that black Kenyan Muslim and that sexual predator and that sexual predator’s enabling, murderous wife who used to be in the White House? We do! Never forget!'”

In the meantime, Fox News will continue to serve as a valuable source of current news for conservative media consumers, Kennedy insisted.

“Fox News will still be around to nitpick to the nth degree every future misstep of Democrats and liberals, as well as remind people that the liberal media is biased and all lives matter, all while ensuring that President Trump has a loyal friend in the media, despite Roger Ailes’ death,” he added.

 

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