There are a lot of people around Baton Rouge talking about me and my business. They’re talking out the side of their necks about how I did this, and how I did that, and how I snookered an elderly lady into putting me in charge of her estate without her family’s knowledge.
Well, I have some advice for all those people: Get my name out of your mouth, or I will sue you for defamation.
Don’t believe me? Just ask the family of Helen Plummer, the nice old lady who named me as the trustee of her will — a duty that just happened to come with a very modest stipend of $500 per month for over two decades — after visiting the Council on Aging a few times.
Her kids and grandkids and all their kin went around saying all sorts of things about me to anybody who would listen to their unfounded, though seemingly plausible, accusations. Next thing you know, the media picked up on it and started putting out their completely unfounded, yet outwardly fitting, allegations. So I’m suing them.
It’s a legal principle known as caveat jibber jabber, which is Latin for “talk shit, get hit— with a lawsuit.”
You see, my mother is veteran 19th Judicial District Court Judge Janice Clark, so I learned the law through osmosis, which is just as good as law school. And I know I have the right to sue people for defamation if they say anything about me I don’t like.
It’s a legal principle known as caveat jibber jabber, which is Latin for “talk shit, get hit — with a lawsuit.”
I don’t put up with people talking trash about me or the Council on Aging. All this junk about an audit saying we violated state and federal laws during our campaign for a tax last year is just that: junk.
That’s why the agency is now being represented by Murphy Foster. That’s right, I’m so serious about defending the COA’s integrity, I’ve hired a guy who showed up on the Ashley Madison client list. I mean, if he can still be considered a respected attorney after that, imagine what he can do for us.
Now, if the Plummer family didn’t want me talking to their mother on her deathbed about forming a will they didn’t know about — one that would transfer $120,000 from their inheritance into my pocket — they had business to take out a restraining order against me. But they didn’t. And that’s why I took out a restraining order against them: to get a court order to make them shut their yappers.
I guess they don’t know the law like I do. Maybe if their mom was a district court judge like mine, they’d know the law better.
It pays to have your mom on the bench, especially when you file a defamation suit against amateurs like the Plummer family and your mom just happens — by total, absolute, complete coincidence — to get assigned to the case. Like, totally by random.
Ain’t that a mother?
Of course, she will recuse herself from the case. Soon. Eventually. Someday. Maybe. Perhaps. Possibly. We’ll see.
But come on. What are the odds a district court judge is going to rule against the child of a colleague? I like my chances.
You got something to say? Didn’t think so.