Donald Trump Names Dr. Jack Kevorkian New Secretary of Trumpcare

After the House of Representatives passed its repeal of Obamacare on Thursday, there was plenty of speculation about the replacement plan, which likely will be known as Trumpcare. Many questions abounded, including who would oversee the transition, which President Donald Trump moved quickly to address.

Speaking from the 15th bunker at Mar-a-Lago — which had been scanned by the Secret Service for any potential Sand People — The Donald proudly announced his new Secretary of Trumpcare, after proclaiming his triple bogey a win over obstructionist Democrats.

“The liberal media has unfairly reported Trumpcare as unfair to people with pre-existing conditions,” Trump said. “They have criticized my tremendous appointees as being unqualified or beholden to corporate interests. Sad!”

Following copious struggles through the 18th green, Trump announced his 30-over-par round as a huge success and prepared to introduce his new health care czar, who died in 2011.

“Dr. Kevorkian is well-known for his amazing work, and we haven’t seen a nominee as qualified for this job since Josef Mengele.”

“For far too long, millions of Americans have dealt with costly end-of-life expenses and needless medical costs for pre-existing conditions, like being a woman. It is unfair for these individuals to weigh down our tremendous health care system, which is the best in the world. Believe me.

“After consulting with Paul Ryan, we have decided the best way for us to reduce medical premiums and waste is to appoint Dr. Jack Kevorkian as our new Secretary of Trumpcare. Dr. Kevorkian is well-known for his amazing work, and we haven’t seen a nominee as qualified for this job since Josef Mengele.

“We have reviewed his record, and he has an amazing track record in treating patients and saving unnecessary costs. In fact, not one of his clients has ever issued a complaint after completing treatment.”

Most recent reports indicated Steve Bannon was eagerly awaiting his fifth liver transplant, hanging upside down in the cargo hold of Air Force One while en route back to the White House.

 

About Manny Schewitz

Avatar
Manny Schewitz is a progressive liberal from the Dirty South with a thirst for the truth, humor, and whiskey. He is a co-founder of Progressive Frontier, an avid poker player, and an unapologetic liberal who supports gun regulations. Manny is also on Facebook, and you can follow him on Twitter as well.

Check Also

New 13th Gate Attraction to Capture the Horror of LSU Football Gameday Parking

The 13th Gate, Baton Rouge's premier haunted house destination, plans to amp up the thrill of fear and anxiety this year with a simulation of what it feels like to park for an LSU football home game.