Man With Laptop Kicked Out of Waffle House

A laptop-toting man was kicked out of the Siegen Lane Waffle House this past weekend after fellow patrons complained he was viewing The Wall Street Journal online.

Restaurant manager Lillie Mae Haynes said that, after confronting 27-year-old architect David Nilsch, he admitted he’d been reading a recent, adroitly written article by Paul Gigot.

“He was just sitting right in that booth with his computer, drinking coffee like he was at Starbuck’s or something,” Haynes said of Nilsch. “There were two old people with their grandkids right next to him, and he never even batted an eyelash when they asked him to stop.”

Haynes said she obtained Nilsch’s address from his fancy-pants debit card and was still considering whether to press charges.