Ben Affleck Drops Out of “Batman” Movie to Be the Next Colonel Sanders

Visionary writer/director/actor Ben Affleck has left the Batman franchise to pursue a lifelong passion of being the spokesman for Kentucky Fried Chicken.

“I understand how beloved the Batman character is to so many fans,” Affleck told reporters while reading a prepared statement. “It breaks my heart to leave, but I feel taking on the role of Colonel Sanders is the best move for my career.”

Affleck has portrayed Batman in two movies and was slated to reprise his role as the caped crusader in the film Justice League, which is due out later this year. However, Affleck claimed pressure to make another standalone Batman movie was starting to wear on the entertainer.

“I didn’t want to be the person everyone blames for making a fourth bad Batman movie,” Affleck said. “And no one makes fun of the Colonel or his secret 11 herbs and spices. This just makes sense to me.”

“Being Colonel Sanders is a full-time job, and I will be required to give my undivided attention and effort for the five weeks I get to play the Colonel.”

Some insiders believe Affleck is moving away from the Dark Knight because of almost universally unfavorable reviews recent DC Comics movies, such as Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad, have garnered.

Nevertheless, the 44-year-old Affleck insisted his decision to step away from the cherished role has nothing to do with the quality of those productions.

“Being Colonel Sanders is a full-time job, and I will be required to give my undivided attention and effort for the five weeks I get to play the Colonel,” Affleck insisted.

The deal to become the next iteration of KFC’s mascot grants Affleck full creative control of the character, allowing him to write, direct, and star in the 30-second advertisements.

“I’m going to focus on some of the better menu items:  the Double Down, the Famous Bowl, and — fingers crossed — fried gizzards. Those things are wicked awesome,” Affleck said.

When asked if he might consider returning to the Batman franchise, Affleck didn’t express much hope.

“Warner Brothers has already cast the Oscar-nominated Viola Davis to play Batman, so I think my time wearing the mask is done. But if they need me, I’d be an awesome Riddler,” Affleck explained.

 

About Robert Rau

Considered a poor man's Pat Sajak, Robert is a mild mannered state employee by day, entertainer by night.

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