GUEST COLUMN: Trump Lies, But Not to Me Because He Loves Me Best — Rosie Parker

Off the WireI’m getting sick and tired of hearing libtards and fake news trying to tell me Donald Trump lies to me. President Trump has never lied to me, and he never will lie to me, because he loves me more than anyone else in the world, including his own children.

All these special snowflakes boo-hooing about “Trump said this” and “Trump said that” can take their so-called facts and video clips and shove them up their pathetic asses. They’re just jealous that I’m the recipient of the undying adoration of the president of the United States, and they can’t get over the fact he beat Hillary by a 100 million jillion votes.

Quit trying to convince me he lied to me by showing me videos of his speeches or screenshots of his tweets showing him saying one thing today and the exact opposite just a few days or weeks ago. Why can’t you get it through your thick loser skulls that’s all part of his brilliant strategy to tell other people what they want to hear in order to get what he wants?

He might lie to other people, but that’s because he doesn’t love them like he loves me.

And what he wants is exactly what I want, because my heart is his heart. They beat as one. My wants and desires are his wants and desires. He understands and loves me more than any other person who’s ever walked the Earth, and he will do everything in his power to deliver everything he’s promised me. And more.

Oh sure, he says lots of different things to different people, depending on who he’s talking to. But I know what’s really in his heart because, like I just said, we have the same heart. Therefore, it’s impossible for him to lie to me.

He might lie to other people, but that’s because he doesn’t love them like he loves me. Donald Trump loves me best, and there’s nothing you can say or do that will ever prove otherwise to me.


About Off the Wire Guest Columnist

Check Also

Cortana Mall to Be Taken Off Life Support

Doctors at Our Lady of Lake Hospital sadly report a former major shopping venue will soon be taken off life support.