Leaders of the city of Baton Rouge held a news conference this week to remind folks of some basic rules during Mardi Gras…
1. Don’t expect to see a parade in Baton Rouge on Mardi Gras Day. If you want to catch a parade on Fat Tuesday, get your ass to the epicenter of debauchery: New Roads. They have two parades that day.
2. Don’t expect to see quality titties flashed for beads.
3. Don’t expect to see Kip Holden pandering to white folks. He’s not the mayor anymore.
4. Don’t let that little kid get what’s rightfully yours.
5. Don’t take your children to the Spanish Town Parade if you’re a lazy parent who doesn’t want to field tough questions like “Why is that man wearing a dress?” or “Can I have a (phallic) popsicle like that lady has?”
6. Don’t run out in front of a float for a trinket — unless it’s really, really awesome.
7. Don’t expect to have nearly as much fun as you would in New Orleans.