Trump on EPA: “We Don’t Need a Clean Heir Act”

The federal government should not be in the business of regulating the personal hygiene of those who inherit wealth, according to President Donald Trump.

In a continuing effort to significantly reduce the role of the Environmental Protection Agency, Trump called for the repeal of the 1963 Clean Air Act, insisting heirs are entitled to be as unclean as they want to be.

“I’ve been saying it for years: Regulations are out of control. It’s why I won by such a huge margin,” Trump told reporters gathered at the White House shortly after the Senate confirmed Scott Pruitt as the president’s choice to head the EPA. “Just look at the Clean Heir Act. How stupid is that? We don’t need a clean heir act. If people want to put dirty people in their will, that’s their business.”

Trump then reassured everyone that, while he believes Americans may be as unwashed as they wish and still be allowed to receive an inheritance, his future heirs are extremely clean.

“If people want to put dirty people in their will, that’s their business.”

“My children Ivanka, Don Junior, and Eric bathe and shower every day. They smell fantastic,” Trump stated. “Oh, and Tiffany, too.”

The president’s Counselor Kellyanne Conway later clarified Trump’s position on the landmark legislation passed during the John F. Kennedy administration to curb air pollution.

“The president feels all Americans have the right to be filthy rich, if that’s what they want to be,” she said.


About Tony Swartz

Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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