An undisclosed number of members of the LSU chapter of Kappa Sigma Fraternity were purged by the national organization, according to The Advocate.
Without going into specifics, a statement from the fraternity’s international headquarters said, “The Kappa Sigma Fraternity has received allegations that some of the members of the Kappa Sigma Chapter at LSU may have participated in activities that violated the Code of Conduct of Kappa Sigma Fraternity.”
While we do not definitively know why these members were expelled, here are some of the most probable reasons they were.
• Forced pledges to eat at Arby’s
• Shared fraternity’s secret handshake with a person of color
• Attempted to revive the goatse meme
• Violated national organization’s mandatory reach-around policy
• Habitually shared spoilers for The Walking Dead
• Failed to comply with national organization’s drug screening policy of exclusively using drugs behind a privacy screen
• Allowed non-fraternity members to apply post-spanking ointments and creams
• Texted pictures of their testicles to girls with nut allergies
• Showed sensitivity and/or empathy to Mexican immigrants
• Failed to slip their quota of roofies for three straight semesters