LSU, Gordon McKernan Agree to Double Font Size of ‘G’ in Tigers

In an effort to increase public awareness of his association with the letter “G,” Baton Rouge attorney Gordon McKernan has inked a deal with the LSU Athletic Department to give the third letter in the name of the school’s mascot greater prominence.

The personal injury lawyer has managed to effectively create a new avenue of promoting his firm by securing an arrangement in which the letter “G” in every usage of the word “Tiger” or “Tigers” by all LSU athletic programs and promotions will be twice as large as the rest of the letters.

Baton Rouge attorney Gordon McKernan

“Ever since we booked all available billboards to advertise on, we’ve looked at other means of brand recognition, like specialized king cakes, hood ornaments, and even G-shaped merkins,” McKernan said. “While we might consider these for the future, the LSU deal made the most sense at this time.”

McKernan said the Athletic Department originally proposed increasing the size of the “G” in another word commonly used in cheers at LSU sporting events.

“The guys at Dudley DeBosier even asked if we would consider adding a ‘D’ to Tigers,” added Alleva, “but that just looked weird. Plus, we didn’t want to give the impression that our mascot was in the past tense. RIP, Mike VI.”

“At first, they offered to double the size of the ‘G’ in ‘Geaux,'” recalled McKernan, “but that already looks like it should be a capital letter. Luckily, we were eventually able to work out a deal with ‘Tigers.'”

Surprisingly, this isn’t the first time LSU has considered such an offer from a local personal injury law firm.

“We were originally trying to broker a deal with noted LSU fan and formerly disbarred attorney E. Eric Guirard, but talks broke off when we couldn’t agree on a font. The man had his heart set on Helvetica,” LSU Athletic Director Joe Alleva explained.

“The guys at Dudley DeBosier even asked if we would consider adding a ‘D’ to Tigers,” added Alleva, “but that just looked weird. Plus, we didn’t want to give the impression that our mascot was in the past tense. RIP, Mike VI.”

The change will go into effect by the start of the next football season, according to Alleva, with the “G” getting a super-sized upgrade on the side of Tiger Stadium, as well as on any merchandise sold by the school.

While football uniforms will not be affected by the deal since they don’t feature the name of the mascot, McKernan has his eyes set on the famous tiger head brandished on the team’s helmets.

“Don’t worry, our design guys are working hard on this problem,” McKernan insisted. “We can get that tiger looking like a letter ‘G’ in no time.”

 

About Robert Rau

Robert Rau
Considered a poor man's Pat Sajak, Robert is a mild mannered state employee by day, entertainer by night.

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