Young Mother Upset Facebook Feed Constantly Reminding Her She Brought Child Into Burgeoning Dystopia

Off the Wire

A first-time mother would like her Facebook friends to stop filling her feed with posts indicating she chose to have a child on the eve of America unraveling into a dystopian nightmare.

Sherry Calmes, who had her first child two months ago at the age of 24, said she can no longer log onto her Facebook profile without feeling a sense of regret for choosing to bring another human being into a world that now appears to be on the brink of collapse.

“I wish everybody I know on Facebook would just stop sharing so many posts about protests and politics and all the crazy stuff happening in the world,” Calmes explained. “Can they just post some cute cat videos instead of constantly reminding me the world is going to shit?”

She can no longer log onto her Facebook profile without feeling a sense of regret for choosing to bring another human being into a world that now appears to be on the brink of collapse.

Calmes said she’s made numerous posts imploring her acquaintances on social media to cease sharing so many disturbing — yet extremely insightful — posts about current events, but reported her timeline is still replete with statuses, stories, and videos that spell impending doom for our democratic institutions and, possibly, the rest of the free world.

“I have a little baby in the next room I’m responsible for, and it really upsets me seeing all that stuff,” Calmes stated. “I’ll take anything else. Can we please make nonstop stupid Harambe memes a thing again? I promise I won’t complain this time.”

 

About Tony Swartz

Tony Swartz
Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

Check Also

Cortana Mall to Be Taken Off Life Support

Doctors at Our Lady of Lake Hospital sadly report a former major shopping venue will soon be taken off life support.