NFL Scraps Instant Replay: “Indisputable Video Evidence No Longer Exists in Trump’s America”

The National Football League announced it is eliminating its instant replay review system after concluding that the concept of incontrovertible video evidence is effectively “dead” during the current presidential administration.

Citing Sean Spicer’s first press briefing as White House spokesman, league officials claimed the idea of “indisputable video evidence” — the standard upon which the replay system is based —  is now an obsolete notion.

“On his first full day on the job, President Donald Trump’s Press Secretary Sean Spicer made it abundantly clear that even the most concrete visual proof is debatable as long as Mr. Trump is president,” NFL Senior Vice President of Officiating Dean Blandino asserted. “Therefore, effective immediately, the National Football League will no longer employ an instant replay video review system during preseason, regular-season, or postseason games, including the Super Bowl.”

On Saturday, Spicer called his first press conference, where he excoriated the media for reporting accurate information. He also emphatically declared to reporters that Friday’s gathering in Washington, D.C., “was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration, period,” despite numerous photographs and official crowd estimates compellingly contradicting that statement.

“The only thing that is now indisputable in America is that there is no longer such a thing as indisputable evidence.”

Blandino described Spicer’s press conference as a “death blow” to the concept of irrefutable visual evidence.

“We can no longer rely on replay to correct calls on the field, because indisputable video evidence no longer exists in Trump’s America. It is now an antiquated ideal, an illusory standard,” Blandino explained. “If the spokesman for the most powerful person on Earth disputes even the most blatantly obvious truths, then the very idea of indisputability itself is moot.”

In addition to Spicer’s statement, Blandino also alluded to Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway’s defense of Spicer the next morning on NBC’s Meet the Press, in which she claimed Spicer presented “alternative facts.”

“After the first full weekend of Donald Trump’s presidency,” he stated, “it is abundantly clear that the only thing that is now indisputable in America is that there is no longer such a thing as indisputable evidence.”

Later, while fielding questions, Blandino clarified that instant replay will still be implemented during the NFL’s annual all-star game.

“We will continue to use replay in the Pro Bowl, because why the hell not? No one gives a damn about that dog and pony show anyway,” he said.


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