Mike Pence Still Unsure When to Laugh Awkwardly at Donald Trump

Off the WireDespite serving as Donald Trump’s running mate in their successful presidential campaign, Vice President-elect Mike Pence still can’t detect when he should clumsily chuckle at the outrageous things said by the president-elect.

The outgoing Republican governor of Indiana was tapped by Trump as his pick for VP in July. Nevertheless, Pence has yet to figure out when he is expected to deliver an awkward laugh in response to Trump’s statements considered laughable by Trump.

“One of the vice president’s most important duties is to serve as a human laugh track for the president’s jokes,” Pence told The Associated Press on Wednesday. “I’m still learning to tell when Mr. Trump is joking, so I’m still not quite sure when I’m supposed to show feigned amusement at the things he says.”

Pence added, “Conversely, I’m training myself to stifle all genuine laughter at some of his statements that I find hilarious because, more often than not, it turns out he’s being serious.”

“I’m still learning to tell when Mr. Trump is joking, so I’m still not quite sure when I’m supposed to show feigned amusement at the things he says.”

Sources within Trump’s transition team indicate they’re considering employing aids to help cue Pence on when to crack his signature wry smile, shake his head unconvincingly, and utter a nearly imperceptible, guttural snicker.

“When they’re together, like at the State of the Union address, we certainly don’t want him laughing at the wrong moment,” explained one staffer, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “So we may give him his own teleprompter loaded with the text of Trump’s prepared speech with the instructions ‘LAUGH NOW’ inserted at the appropriate points.”

However, Trump is notorious for going off-script, which would make the teleprompter idea less than ideal, the staffer admitted.

“That’s why we’re leaning toward simply implanting in his brain the same kind of chip that’s been in Melania Trump’s head since 1999,” the unnamed staffer said. “We just have to work out the bugs to make sure the vice president-elect doesn’t spontaneously start fellating Mr. Trump during the inauguration.”RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

About Tony Swartz

Tony Swartz
Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

Check Also

Cortana Mall to Be Taken Off Life Support

Doctors at Our Lady of Lake Hospital sadly report a former major shopping venue will soon be taken off life support.