Democrats Secretly Want to Impose Entrance Exam for States to Qualify for Electoral College

Off the Wire

Democratic leaders in Congress will push for a measure requiring states to pass a standardized test before being allowed to participate in future presidential elections, according to sources on Capitol Hill.

Expecting to reclaim the White House and a majority in at least the U.S. Senate this fall, congressional Democrats reportedly will seek to pass a constitutional amendment that would mandate states correctly answer at least 70% of the questions posed in an exam before being allowed to send electors to the Electoral College, the body responsible for electing the president and vice president of the United States.

“Was your most recent natural disaster punishment from God or a test of faith?”

Some of the questions states would be forced to answer to qualify for participation in the Electoral College allegedly include:

“Are people from Mexico rapists or murderers?”

“How many zeroes are in the age of the Earth?”

“Which Sex and the City character are you?”

“Was your most recent natural disaster punishment from God or a test of faith?”

Our sources indicated the last query is a trick question for which the only acceptable answers involve claiming the disaster was due to either man-made climate change or a fracking-induced earthquake.

While Democrats wholly deny they want to impose standardized testing for entrance into the Electoral College, Republicans are crying foul, insisting the Democratic Party wants to disenfranchise millions of people in GOP stronghold states.

“They just want to ask a bunch of stupid questions on a rigged test that only the most liberal states would have the so-called ‘right’ answers to,” explained Republican U.S. Sen. Jeff Sessions, of Alabama. “If they want a test to make sure states are real American states, they should ask questions like ‘How many pounds of Tannerite does it take to sufficiently blow up a 1986 Chevy K5 Blazer?’ Libtard states like California and Vermont would never get the right answer, which is ‘All of it.'”RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

 

About Tony Swartz

Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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