LSU Fans Agree Statistically Best Coach in Program’s History Not Statistically Good Enough

After a razor-close loss to Auburn on Saturday, Les Miles was officially fired as LSU’s head coach on Sunday. With an overall record of 114-34 during Miles’ 12 years in Baton Rouge, including only two seasons with less than nine wins, LSU football fans across the state who rallied behind the battle cry “WE MISS SABAN” have finally gotten their wish.

Despite the fact the program’s achievements were mostly lackluster prior to Nick Saban’s arrival in 1999 — with only occasional high points since the 1950s — fans seemingly got it in their heads that LSU is a blue-blooded football team that deserves nothing less than a national championship once every five years or so. And the fans have made that point crystal clear: “If you come to LSU and don’t win every game, we will fire you.”

Jimbo Fisher … has been scared off permanently by the fan base’s new-money sense of entitlement and casual use of death threats to get what they want.

While Florida State head coach Jimbo Fisher has previously expressed interest in possibly coaching at LSU, it’s rumored he has been scared off permanently by the fan base’s new-money sense of entitlement and casual use of death threats to get what they want.

Before 2001, LSU hadn’t won the SEC since 1988 and hadn’t won the Sugar Bowl since 1968. Before 2003, LSU hadn’t had a national championship since 1958. Plus, the coach that got us to the 2003 title game has gone on to become undeniably the greatest college football coach in modern — and maybe all of — history, as well as LSU’s biggest division rival.

 

But sure, LSU. Let’s go back to the good ol’ days. To the days when we fucking sucked. That’s definitely better than not quite being the best.RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

 

About Evan Rabalais

Evan Rabalais
Evan Rabalais is a standup comedian from Baton Rouge, LA. He also knows how to read and write, which his parents are more proud of.

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