Area Man’s Girlfriend Wants Him to Get Ice Cream During Goddam Flooding

Off the Wire“Get me ice cream.”

That was the text message Nick Melancon received around 11 p.m. on the evening of August 12, amid the torrential rain and numerous flood warnings in Baton Rouge.

“I thought, ‘There’s no way she’s serious,'” Melancon stated. “She couldn’t actually expect me to drive out in the middle of the goddamn night in that rain.”

Nick said the situation got worse minutes later when — as he was putting on his shoes — he received another message.

“My shoes are wet, I almost dropped my phone, and I bet she’ll fucking be asleep by the time I get to her place.”

 

“It just said, ‘You don’t have to if you don’t want to,’ like I was some kind of fucking idiot.”

The 23-year-old graduate student spent the better part of the next half hour going from gas station to gas station looking for chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, all while being forced to reroute several times due to street flooding.

“My shoes are wet, I almost dropped my phone, and I bet she’ll fucking be asleep by the time I get to her place,” Melancon recalled saying to himself on the drive to his girlfriend’s apartment. “You know she’ll get mad at me when I knock on the door and her dog wakes her up, too. I hate my life.”

Later, as Melancon was seen snuggling on the couch with his girlfriend, he requested that we “please don’t repeat any of this to anyone.”RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

 

About Evan Rabalais

Evan Rabalais
Evan Rabalais is a standup comedian from Baton Rouge, LA. He also knows how to read and write, which his parents are more proud of.

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