LSU AgCenter Flooded With Job Applications, Tips for Growing Marijuana

Off the WireSince news broke last month that the LSU AgCenter would begin taking steps toward producing medical marijuana, the research facility has been inundated with employment applications and unsolicited advice for growing cannabis.

Hundreds of people have both expressed a strong desire to work at the Agricultural Center and touted their expertise in growing marijuana following the LSU Board of Supervisors’ approval of a resolution allowing the center to produce the crop as part of a state medical marijuana initiative originally signed into law last year.

“We used to get about five or six job applications a week, but now we’re getting like 300 a day. It’s getting to the point we’re going to have to hire another person just to help with handling the onslaught,” said Denise Fontenot, human resources manager for the AgCenter. “And many of the resumes list ‘rolling tight fatties’ as a skill. I’m not sure I know what that is.”

Without his expertise, “the AgCenter’s weed will be 30% weaker than the shit already going around campus.”

Meanwhile, scores of daily emails from strangers offering all sorts of suggestions regarding cannabis horticulture are clogging the inboxes of researchers like Professor James Griffin, whose online staff listing mentions specializations in “integrated weed management, weed-crop competition,” and “weed biology and management.”

“Before the medical marijuana announcement, I’d spend no more than 30 minutes on an average day reading, sorting, and responding to my work email,” Griffin explained. “Now, I’m spending half my day dealing with messages from all sorts of people, most of whom have either ‘dank,’ ‘420,’ or ‘kush’ in their email addresses.”

Griffin cited an email he received that afternoon sent from the email address “greenkushmellow@gmail.com.” The sender claimed that, without his expertise, “the AgCenter’s weed will be 30% weaker than the shit already going around campus,” and that nobody at the AgCenter “can match the shit growing on Carlotta (Street).”

An exasperated Griffin commented, “I guess they see the word ‘weed’ next to my name and assume I’m in charge of growing the cannabis. They don’t even realize I specialize in preventing and killing weeds. Goddam stoners.”RedShtick-Top-ColumnStop

 

About Tony Swartz

Tony is proof that you can write Peabody-worthy news without ever darkening the halls of journalism school.

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