In the midst of a tumultuous month in Baton Rouge, the solution to the growing racial tensions in the city has seemingly come to light.
Trevor McKnight, a 21-year-old LSU sophomore majoring in psychology, reportedly stumbled across the answer when he got together with his friends Tim Hebert, Kevin Sloan, and Austin Bingham — all of whom still live with their parents and work as part-time pizza delivery drivers — to discuss the issue as they passed around a bong packed with skunk weed.
“It’s just all about fear, man. Everyone’s just afraid, and that’s ignorant,” McKnight told reporters he had invited to the gathering. “I think if we all just got together and talked about each other, we could figure this whole thing out.”
“Like … just make good decisions and be cool about shit, right? Doesn’t that just sound, like, way better?”
“It sucks because my dad’s generation still has all the power. When he was my age, they were already taking over, ya know? Like, just die off already; it’s our turn,” Hebert said while he continuously petted a cat for an hour.
When asked what kinds of things members of his generation could do to help once they came into power, Hebert responded, “Like … just make good decisions and be cool about shit, right? Doesn’t that just sound, like, way better?”
Sloan and Bingham could not comment as they were busy laughing at a joke Hebert made four hours earlier.